Posted on November 25, 2015
Markers
I drive past it at least once a week. Anytime I head to Walmart, Home Depot or across the north end bridge. Just as the road curves. The cemetery where we had researched burial plots for our daughter.
About a week ago driving past there was a gathering of people, huddled in close with overcoats, breaths hanging in the air, the casket of one being laid to rest, and tears on my cheeks. Read More
Posted on October 29, 2015
Your very great reward
It’s been over a month. Whoops…I was not intending to go on that long of a hiatus. But life has been a little busy in the Johnson household. There’s the whole newborn…ummm, I guess I should probably stop calling my almost three month old a newborn…there’s the whole baby slew of things to do (read: feed and change diapers). We’ve had at least one doctor’s appointment every week since returning home. There’s a toddler to entertain without exposing her to too many public places (we’re officially on guard against illness for Bella’s sake). And then for the fun of it in the midst of all this we decided it might be a good time to move. Not far, mind you, but whether you move 3 miles or 300 you still have to sort and pack up all of your life. Read More
Updated on September 25, 2015
Four Letter Words
I grew up in a conservative, God-fearing, church-going family. Consequently, there were quite a few four letter words that upon pain of punishment were not to be uttered in our household. We were taught that these words were offensive and as such were not to be spoken.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve continued to abstain from the use of these words, but I have found a few other four letter words that pack quite a bit more danger in them. Two in particular I have found myself battling constantly on this journey with Arabella. Read More
Updated on January 16, 2016
Neither here nor there
I break all conventional rules of blogging. I write posts that are too long. And sometimes, like today, there’s not a singular cohesive point to what I post. But let’s be honest, since I’m going on six plus weeks of very limited, broken up sleep there’s not much singular cohesion happening in my life right now. It’s pretty much just a thick fog that I’m thrilled to wade through and discover at the end of the day that I have two relatively happy, alive children and – on a really good day – dinner on the table – and on a really, really good day – that I’m dressed, showered and have make-up on. When I showed up on time with both girls to the dentist at nine a.m. in the morning (what was I thinking with that scheduling?!?) for Eliana’s appointment last week I really wanted some kind of medal. I even put on make-up. Shower? Ummm, we’ll leave that undisclosed. Read More
Updated on September 8, 2015
Camping out with the Israelites
Disclaimer for the men: what follows will have a fair bit of disclosure about breast-feeding and the vehicles of said sustenance. Proceed forth at your own risk.
Last night was a rough newborn night. Following a rough toddler day. Eliana had come down with cold number two, which means she had also come down with another severe case of the crankies. I headed to bed weary of the discipling negotiating work of raising a toddler. It soon became apparent that sleep would be elusive, though. Poor Arabella had a nose full of snot, the intense desire to be nestled in bed between mommy and daddy, and the orchestral snorting performance of Snuffleupagus. If the constant snorts and snuffs weren’t enough to keep me awake, I had the constantly repeated doctor uttered refrain in my head of “a cold could land your daughter in the hospital.” The only solution to the restless night was a lot of feeds and a lot of prayer.
I woke got up understandably exhausted and immediately reached out for my lifeline. I called Papa and asked if he wanted a date with Eliana so that his daughter and other granddaughter could catch a few z’s. Because he’s gracious and compassionate he instantly agreed. And so it happened that I curled up for a nap on the couch with Bella, who was also wiped from the night. Settled down on our very comfortable couch for a very long nap. At one point she stirred and I thought, “I should feed her,” but her immediate return to sleep eased me back to the same land. And so we had a bit lengthier time between feeds. Read More
Updated on September 1, 2015
Bella’s Birth – Shift Three
One of the last things Jenni did before taking off was introduce us to our next nurse. Saturday morning a friend had suggested to us that we have Arabella’s footprint stamped on Psalm 139 in my Bible. Before going to the hospital, in discussing the possible scenario of saying goodbye to Bella, Jeff and I had already decided to read this Psalm over our dear, perfectly formed daughter in the few hours she had on earth. Consequently, we fell in love with the idea of having her print forever stamped on this Psalm. On each shift, we had made this request known to our nurses.
So when Jenni got to recommend the nurse for our next shift, she chose the nurse famous for capturing the best footprints. The thoughtfulness behind this gesture still makes me misty eyed. Read More
Updated on August 25, 2015
Bella’s Birth – Shift Two
With the changing of the guard, we were introduced to our new nurse, Jenni. We liked her from the start, but I had no idea when we were introduced just how much of a blessing – and truly a minister to me – she would be throughout the long night. It would become apparent during these dark hours that Jenni knew and loved my Jesus, and consequently, was the perfect nurse to be by my side.
One of the first things Jenni did was get me hooked up to my “traveling pole” so I could stroll further than an eight foot radius from the monitors. Jeff and I took advantage of my new found freedom with a few laps around labor and delivery, making friends at the nurses’ stations along the way. Read More
Updated on August 22, 2015
Bella’s Birth – Shift One
I have struggled for the words to describe Bella’s birth more than I have any other part of this journey. It is safe to say I have never experienced the Lord’s presence more strongly than those twenty-five hours on the sixth floor of the University of Washington. And in many ways I know I will never be able to adequately describe the Indescribable One and how He was at work during that long day. So please forgive my feeble attempts and grasping for words! The story is long, so I’ve decided to split it into the three shifts of staff we labored through.
That Saturday morning I woke up at my typical 4:30 meeting time with Jesus with words on my heart. Two mornings before I had camped out on the bathroom floor to write so as not to disturb my husband’s rest. Somehow on that morning I had forgotten that there was a very comfortable library with chairs and tables right next door to our room. Fortunately, on this morning I remembered said room, so grabbed my laptop and headed over to record the words that were swirling in my mind. Read More
Updated on August 17, 2015
One week & A request
One week ago I heard the most beautiful sound of my life.
Just as I dreamed and prayed and hoped, my daughter came into this world at 12:32 with a loud scream. And about ten minutes later, after scoring 9’s on her apgar and convincing the NICU docs they were unnecessary, she was placed into my arms.
I thought the only way I’d be holding my daughter ten minutes after birth was if I was preparing to say goodbye to her. This outcome was nowhere on our radar of possibilities. Nowhere. Read More
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