Updated on August 4, 2011
Monochronic vs. Polychronic (and the grocery store)
This past week in our sophomore oral classes, we were discussing the cultural value spectrum on time. We talked about a continuum ranging from extremely monochronic to extremely polychronic. Monochronic refers to those cultures who believe that time is limited, and therefore must be used carefully. Verbs used when describing time are often the same as verbs used for money (saved, spent, wasted). Schedules are made far in advance. In a polychronic culture, time is as common as air. Schedules are constantly shifting and changing as different circumstances arise. Due to this fact, long-term scheduling is almost non-existent in a polychronic culture.
In class, I talked about the extreme monochronicity of America. Every classroom on a university campus has a clock, and often these are electronic so that every classroom has the same time. People schedule doctor appointments six months in advance. Almost everyone wears a watch. The students’ jaws dropped when I told them that American college students know the exact day the winter and summer holidays will begin. (Students here still don’t know when their winter holiday will begin.)
After class, I was reflecting on the polychronicity of China and I realized this is one of the reasons I love living here. This cultural value does come with its frustrations; sometimes it is nice to know what and when I’m teaching more than two days before the semester begins. However, this value also means life is conducted at a much less frenzied and busy pace than America. Efficiency is not the supreme value in life. Nowhere is this fact more evident than in the grocery store.
Every summer when I return to the States, one of the biggest shocks for me is visiting the grocery store. My jaw hangs open as I walk down aisle after aisle after aisle of pre-made, ready in ten minutes packaged food items. This past summer I distinctly remember stopping with a wide-eyed stare when I saw muffin TOPS in the freezer section–“just heat for five minutes!”. Does anyone else find the existence of pre-made muffin tops slightly ridiculous? The sheer volume of pre-packaged food is something I know my students cannot even begin to comprehend.
The Chinese grocery store, though it is beginning to be invaded with Western junk food like chips and candies, is still largely devoid of five-minute meal solutions (with the exception of instant noodles). The majority of items are still raw ingredients. People still spend an hour or more preparing dinner. This time is not seen as a “waste”, but just a natural part of the rhythm of the day. And I love that. I love that spending three hours to prepare a meal for friends here doesn’t seem far-fetched or even out of the ordinary. Taking the time to make things from scratch has a way of slowing down my pace of life and freeing me from the need to make every second count.
Moving to China has convicted me of my addiction to busyness–and the fact that I often judge my effectiveness and the value of my work based on how full my day is. Saying, “I’m so busy!” in America often equates with, “I’m productive, important, and doing my job well.” Yet in this mindset, I’ve realized how easy it is to lose sight of people and miss what really matters in the moments of the day. For this reason, this week I’m extremely thankful for the lessons I learn in this polychronic culture.
Updated on August 4, 2011
The Hair Salon
My first three years in China, I was too terrified to set foot in a Chinese hair salon as a patron. I had heard horror stories of chic cuts turned mullets, and the necessity of releasing control into the hands of the “expert” hair dresser. The “fashionable” hair styles (among them the one nick-named ‘the lion’s mane’…you can imagine what that looks like) were far from what I wanted done with my hair. Consequently, I kept my hair long and each summer in the States instructed my hair stylist to give me a cut that would grow out well throughout the next year. This pattern all changed two summers ago. I decided to get my hair cut while out visiting my friend Kasey in LA. #1 It’s always fun to get a hair cut with a close girlfriend. #2 Kasey raved about this hair stylist. #3 The hair stylist had very reasonable rates. Kasey convinced me to go for a drastic change and to cut my hair short…really short. I knew this would require facing my worst fears and getting it cut and maintained in China. I got the cut. I loved it. We took pictures from every angle in the hopes of having it replicated.
So, last fall, armed with my faithful Chinese tutors and my pictures, I headed to one of the nicest salons in town (my tutors chose the place after asking everybody and their brother about the best place for a cut). My tutors were insistent that the manager of the salon cut my hair. I wrote about the experience here. The manager did such a good job, that I’ve returned to him exclusively to cut my hair ever since. I skipped the hair cut in the states this summer…once you begin paying $4 for a hair cut, it’s awfully hard to go back to $30. Recently, I took my two new teammates to the salon with me for haircuts. The following are my observations of the Chinese hair salon:
Observation #1: Most of the hair stylists are men. However, this career choice does not carry the same implications as in the States. The women working in the salon are often the hair washers. Very few of them actually cut hair.
Observation #2: The hair stylists are very fashion forward…usually displaying the very latest trends in clothing, hair styles, and even tattoos. I think this guy’s scarf adds a very nice touch.
Observation #3: They do strange things with pipe cleaners. What are they doing? I don’t know. Perhaps some sort of perm.
Observation #4: Hair stylists are very prepared. Note the holster the manager has for all of his tools of the trade. My manager is also proving the point once again that men are more common and fashion forward. Only the fashion forward would combine stripes, plaid, and a red leather holster as an accessory. Ummm…I take that back. My students combine stripes and plaid all the time. But the monochromatic theme of his outfit makes it quite snazzy…and dare I say, put-together?
Observation #5: Appointments are completely unnecessary, and in actuality don’t even exist. As we were discussing monochronic time orientation in class this week, my students were shocked and dismayed to find out that you sometimes have to make a hair appointment at least two weeks in advance in the States.
Observation #6: It’s still wise to bring a Chinese friend along to stand as guard and protector of your hair. One, it makes you feel a whole lot more safe. Two, you can quickly halt any undesired experimentation.
Updated on August 4, 2011
More pumpkin…and roses
Don’t say I didn’t warn you. I told you that I was obsessed with pumpkin lately. I’m not sure why. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I’ve had very little pumpkin the last four years. I only discovered this year that: A) I can buy little pumpkins at my local vegetable market and B) that it’s quite easy to roast and puree them. Consequently, I’m determined to make up for all four pumpkin-less years this fall. So far, the other foreign teachers aren’t complaining. There are two new pumpkin recipes up. Warning: the pumpkin blondies might just be the best fall treat you’ve tasted in a long while. Try them today! For those of you who are tired of pumpkin (how is that possible?), there is also a lemon pasta recipe up.
In other news, the Buckeyes are smelling roses. In spite of (most certainly not because of) Tressel’s ultra-conservative game plan, Ohio State eeked out a win against Iowa. Seriously, even in my groggy-I-woke-up-at-4:30-am-to-watch-this-game-state I could have coordinated Iowa’s defense. What was Ohio State’s offensive scheme (if you can call it that)? First down: run up the middle. Second down: run to the right. Third down: oh shoot, we have to pass, throw a screen that just gets us pass the first down marker. First down: you guessed it, run up the middle. Second down: run to the right. Third down: screen. And on and on ad nauseum. Sometimes they got creative and ran to the left on first down. Lucky for the Buckeyes, it appears that Iowa’s Ferentz is just as conservative as Tressel. Instead of pushing for the win with one minute to go and a tied score, Iowa opted to whittle down the clock and send the game into overtime. The defense definitely gets the credit for the overtime win, after an impressive onslaught that left Iowa without a score and Ohio State on their way to the Rose bowl. Roses are about as good as it gets for a team that lost to Purdue. Icing on the cake? USC getting pummeled by Stanford. Now that’s what I call a good day. The only thing that could have made it better? If South Carolina had been able to pull out a win against Florida.
Updated on August 4, 2011
A Twilight Birthday
One of the challenging aspects of living overseas is being far away from family and friends on important occasions like birthdays and holidays. Consequently, as a team, we put a great deal of effort into making these occasions just as special or more so than they would be in the States. We began throwing themed birthday parties for the kids (as in under the age of ten, in case there’s any confusion) several years ago. Since the kids are forced to celebrate their birthdays with for the most part adults (who nonetheless don’t always act their age), we figured the least we could do was give them an affair to remember complete with themed games and food. Then, one fateful day, we added a theme to an adult’s birthday party…and that’s been the pattern every since. Birthday parties have only grown in scale. We have a designated party planner on the team, which is a necessity considering there are thirteen parties to be planned throughout the year.
This past weekend was our party planner’s birthday extravaganza, so it was up to the rest of us to pull together all the details. Themes for the party are usually remotely related to the birthday boy/girl, but they also mock that person in a loving way. My birthday last year was a playing card theme, which was a sarcastic commentary on the fact that the team will never play card games with me. For Jennifer’s theme this year, we chose Twilight. She ridiculed the movie the first time she watched it, but has since been whipping through the books. The theme was a good choice; there were a plenitude of websites giving instructions on how to hold a Twilight party. And so I welcome you to Forks, China:
We set the mood of the party room with Christmas lights, roses, signs with cheesy quotes and red apples.
In the above picture, Rach is getting white glittery eye shadow painted all over her face–in other words, she’s being transformed into a vampire. (Although technically she should only glisten like diamonds in the sunlight. Yes, I’ve seen the movie too many times. I can’t hep the fact that my students adore it.)
One of our old teammates, Michelle, was in town for the party. We put her sign-making talents to good use.
My personal favorite of the signs is above. To save you from squinting your eyes in attempts to decipher the small script, it reads, “Edward Cullen: bringing sexy back since 1901.” The mock Twilight book cover on the door would have been impossible without Daren’s skills in drawing arms. The red apples on the table are actually imported from Washington…and cost a pretty penny. Most of the apples sold in China are a combination of yellow and pinkish tones, which just doesn’t cut it for setting a romantic Twilight mood.
The cake, of course, matched the theme. It was flavored with blood (in other words, it was a red velvet cake), and adorned with “Happy Birthday” written in the Twilight font.
The game for the evening was “pin the apple in Edward’s hands”. And no, this was not an idea from the party websites. We came up with that one on our own. Although we do have a version of this game at a large majority of our parties. You’d think we’d get better at it…in this shot Wu is directly headed for the kitchen.
In the end Wu corrected his course, and quite a few of us ended up quite close to Edward’s hands. Not shown in this picture are the apples that ended up on the walls and TV. We deemed Rach the winner of this contest. Her prize? One of the coveted imported Washington apples.
Happy Birthday, Jennifer! We hope you realize how special you are to us!
Updated on August 4, 2011
The Zoo Animal Experience
Sometimes, living as a foreigner in China feels like you are a zoo animal on display. People stare, point, take pictures, laugh at your actions, discuss your every move with other onlookers, try to touch your hair (seriously), and generally are enthralled by simply watching you. This phenomenon is especially true for the kids on the team. Without further ado, welcome to our local zoo:
Will sits down to make a jack-o-lantern, quite oblivious to the fact that such an act will draw an immense crowd (“come see, the monkeys are doing something fascinating!”).
Will notices his spectators for the first time (after one of them reaches over to pet his hair).
Spectators move in closer. Will’s thought, “Maybe if I close my eyes they’ll all go away.”
Cell phone cameras start to come out as one brave spectator tries to strike up a conversation. Will pretends he’s in his own universe.
Count the number of cell phones visible. People are starting to scoot in close to get a good shot.
Will decides to abandon his task. Zoo animals in constant motion don’t draw as large of a crowd.
In a small city in China, anything a foreigner does is a source of fascination. Old ladies stop to check out and physically peruse what’s in my grocery cart. Workers in a store stand a foot or two back and discuss both my appearance and actions. People drop what they’re doing to stare as I pass by. All discuss my place of origin…and all think that place of origin is Russia.
With such an envrionment, there is no chance for me to forget that indeed I am a foreigner and alien in this world. I can only hope that in the midst of their careful observations, people will catch a glimpse of one much greater than myself. “Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to live such good lives that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify the Father on the day he visits us.”
Updated on August 4, 2011
My best friend
The facts of the case are as follows:
- I have never in my life been even close…I mean even within 10 miles…to being a fitness freak.
- I am incredibly uncoordinated.
- I can’t buy pants in China (Have you seen Chinese girls? They have NO hips. I’m from good old German stock. Germans have hips).
- Previous fact means I must maintain my current pant size, lest I’m forced to sit around in pajama pants every day (which, don’t get me wrong, would be wonderful, but not so classroom appropriate).
- I love to cook and I love to eat almost as much as I love to cook.
- There are some weeks when I consume an entire carrot cake by myself.
- Sadly, as I progress in years, I’ve watched my metabolism take a nose dive.
- Said aforementioned facts mean I must do some form of exercise.
- I live in the northeast of China, where winter lasts for approximately 9 months.
- Unlike my teammate Daren, who will still runs outside when the temperature is 0 degrees fahrenheit, I’m morally opposed to wearing a hat and mittens while exercising.
All of these facts mean Jillian Michaels has become my best friend. We hang out together five mornings a week, and while I have an intense dislike of her as we spend time together, her ability to keep me in my current pant size keeps me coming back. Last year I purchased two workout DVDs. One I was simply not coordinated enough to keep up with. The other, Jillian’s 30 day shred, has rarely left my DVD player since. The reasons I love this workout and would recommend it to all are:
- You do not need to be in good shape to begin with. Even those of us who are out of shape and lack coordination should be able to complete level one. Don’t get me wrong, it will hurt, but you should be able to do it.
- You do not need much equipment–just some hand weights and either an exercise mat or soft surface.
- There are 3 levels, which allows you to progress as, in the words of Jillian, “you get stronger and more fit”.
- Not only are there 3 levels, but within each level Jillian has 2 assistants, Natalie and Anita. Anita does a beginner version of each move, while Natalie does an advanced version. When you’re first starting out, Anita is your best friend. She’s also great for when you are doing the next level the first couple times.
- Each workout is only about 25 minutes, which means it’s quite realistic to find the time to do it in the morning.
- Each workout is organized in “circuits”–3 minutes of strength, 2 minutes of cardio, and 1 minute of abs. Each circuit is also broken down into two different exercises, which means you’re never doing a move for more than 1 minute. There are two reasons why I love this fact. A) You don’t get bored with the moves. B) If the move is difficult & painful, you can mentally tough it out for 1 minute.
- Despite it’s short length, it works every part of your body. In the pain following the workout, you’ll discover muscles you never knew you had.
- Jillian is straight-forward, firm, and encouraging without being overly perky. I don’t like perky workout instructors. They annoy me. When I’m working out I do not feel perky.
Trust me, if I can do a workout DVD and stick with it, so can you! In the words of my students, “Have a try!” (You can find it on Amazon for less than $10.)
Updated on August 4, 2011
Party in Prison
Every year, the foreign teachers hold an open house for the freshmen English majors at our apartments. The goal of the open house is to familiarize the students with the teachers and to lay groundwork for relationships. It usually equates to several crazy hours of posing in front of cell phones for pictures while dozens of students crowd around you. This year, we were unable to host an open house at our apartments since the students are currently not allowed off campus (for the reasoning behind this prohibition, read this). Since the freshmen couldn’t come to the party, we brought the party to them. This past Thursday evening, we threw a Halloween party for the freshmen in one of our teaching buildings. Considering they’ve been locked on campus for over a month now, they were quite excited to have a special event to attend. We had an entire hallway with three classrooms and our foreign teachers’ library in which to hold the party. As students arrived, they were greeted by Robb, who allowed small groups of students to enter the hallway at fixed intervals of time. 
Just in case Robb wasn’t a frightening enough sight, we made the first stop of the party a haunted house. 
Anthony was the gate guard to the haunted house. He told a scary story about the ghost of a student before they entered the haunted house. Consequently, some students had to be pushed through the door.
The inside of the haunted house was pitch black, and was inhabited by student volunteers. The volunteers were armed with flashlights, which they would shine on their scary faces as they jumped out at passing students. We scripted out how the haunted house was to run, but the quality of the haunted house definitely declined throughout the evening as our student zombies got bored with their duties.
After the terrifying beginning to the night, students were ushered into the game rooms. The first room featured a ball toss manned by Kami…
And a shooting game manned by Daren.
In the shooting game, students aimed a Nerf gun at a collection of figurines. Our figurines were quite chipper despite their impending doom.
The next room featured a face-painting station, run by the ever-so-talented-heart-and-rainbow-artist, Lauren.
Musical chairs was also in this room, manned by Wu. We discovered that students are NOT so skilled at following directions. They would constantly all sit down before the music stopped, which required a constant yelling of “Go! Go! Zou! Zou!“
The last room was a Jack-O-Lantern “carving” station, where students could cut out a paper pumpkin. We collected the pumpkins, and the student with the most skillful carving won matching Halloween “Lovers” shirts. In China, it is very common for stores to sell male and female identical t-shirts for boyfriends and girlfriends to wear together (hence the name “Lovers shirts”). Surprisingly, the prize t-shirts came from the states.
All in all, the students had a grand time. More exciting than the games and prizes was the opportunity to meet and take pictures of all the foreign teachers. The shy students would try to sneak photos on their cell phones when they thought I wasn’t looking.
While the bold ones would saunter up and say, “Would you take photo with me?” If one was bold enough to ask the initial question, that meant about 20 more students would immediately follow suit…which must have resulted in quite the plastered, fake smile on my face by about photo #13.
I don’t teach any freshmen, but many of them wanted pictures because they were attracted to my costume. I threw together a Chef’s outfit about twenty minutes before the party. What you can’t see in the picture below is my awesome “utility belt” of spatulas and other random kitchen utensils. The hat was crafted from two pieces of cardstock and a shower cap that came free with my last purchase of body wash. That’s right, I’m a high roller.
Updated on August 4, 2011
I will never grow weary
I will never grow weary or tired of seeing the shocked disbelief and astonishment wash over another’s face as they fully grasp for the very first time the gravity of the Son’s sacrifice. There is simply nothing in the world like the realization that the infinite and eternal sculptor of the universe loves tiny insignificant man that much. The strong wave of emotions, ranging from extremes of horror all the way to gratefulness, that this realization brings is simply breathtaking. Those of us who have heard the story from birth somehow seem to become so accustomed to the fact that we can quickly sweep past it in a few quiet moments in the morning. Getting to re-experience with others the wonder of this first realization is one of the many reasons why I consider myself most fortunate to live in this place.
Updated on August 4, 2011
Chinese hospitality
If I had to name one thing that the Chinese excel at, hospitality would be awfully close to the top of the list. I hate to make generalizations, but on the whole, the Chinese know how to take care of guests. If you ever travel to visit a friend, you can expect to have every detail and concern of your trip taken care of. What may be viewed as excessive hand-holding by independent Americans can actually be quite wonderful when you’re traveling in an unfamiliar place. There have been countless times when the generosity and care of Chinese friends have saved me from and gotten me out of many a bind. However, American and Chinese ideas of hospitality are quite different.
This weekend, one of my former teammates was staying with me. Michelle currently teaches in Beijing, but taught at our university for a year and a half in the past. The purpose of her visit was to join in Jennifer’s birthday celebrations. (Side note: If there’s one thing we know how to do well here, it’s throw a birthday party. More on that later.) Michelle was arriving into town Friday evening, and by the time I found out when she was getting in, I already had dinner plans with a couple students. However, I knew that Michelle’s seven years of experience in China, and experience living here in this city meant that she could quite successfully make her own way to my apartment. I sent her an email letting her know the door would be unlocked and to make herself at home. Somehow during dinner with my students, though, I let it slip that I had a friend coming in that night. Immediately the onslaught of questions came: how is she getting here? what time does her train arrive? don’t you need to be at the train station? When I responded that she taught here before and would be OK getting to the campus, shocked looks were plastered on my students’ faces. “Oh, OK. But you need to make sure you’re back when she arrives, right?” Now I was feeling quite guilty of the cardinal Chinese sin of un-hospitality. Sheepishly I said, “She’s friends with many of the foreign teachers; they will be there to greet her.” They half-heartedly accepted that answer, but also made sure not to keep me too long after dinner.
My chastisement was not complete though. As I walked through the revolving doors of my building, I saw my doorman quickly rise to greet me. He had a concerned look on his face, and he hurriedly said in Chinese, “Your guest is here! You need to go fast!” Giving up all hopes of explaining myself, I shamefully replied, “Ok, ok, I’m going fast.” Sure enough, Michelle had barely been in my place for five minutes and was quite comfortably making herself at home. Regardless, in the eyes of the Chinese, I’m a terrible host.
Updated on August 4, 2011
Pumpkin, pumpkin, pumpkin
I just can’t get enough of pumpkin lately! This soup has been one of my favorite recipes I’ve tried recently. It was incredibly easy, and extraordinarily delicious. There’s a restaurant in Chiang Mai, Thailand (where I spend January every year) that has a pumpkin soup I love. I’d been looking for a good recipe for awhile, but most recipes call for cream. When I saw this recipe, with no cream or milk, I had to try it. The result was a surprisingly smooth and creamy texture with a perfect flavor. Check out the recipe–there’s a surprising ingredient in it!
Recent Comments