Updated on August 4, 2011
Fear Factor: Sonny vs. Rachel
With birthdays on December 15 and 18, Sonny and Rachel’s special days often get lost in the hustle and bustle of the season. When it comes to parties, they have often gotten the short end of the stick in the past. This year we were determined to make it up to them by giving them an extravagant bash. Since their birthdays are always lumped together into one party, we decided to have a Fear Factor styled party to determine the bravest birthday girl/boy.
The first round of competition was a test of both their puzzle working abilities and knowledge of China. It was a closely fought battle as they raced to put together a puzzle map of China. Rachel barely eeked out the victory and won the point.
At the beginning of round two, the pair got to pick an assistant (without knowing the challenge to come). We then headed out to the hall for a three-legged race. The Wu combo (who by all appearances are world champion three-legged racers) beat out the Sonny and Jude combo by a mile to bring the score to Rachel 2 – Sonny 0.
Sonny clawed his way back into the game in the next round, with a decisive victory over Rachel in the Wii knock-the-other-person-off-a-podium game. He knocked Rach off in less then 10 seconds two times in a row, bringing the score to Rachel 2 – Sonny 1.
Sonny continued his comeback in Round four, by digging through a “poopy” diaper for a piece of gum and blowing a bubble the quickest. Rach got a poopy face for no good reason as the score changed to two all.
Round five brought a word puzzle problem that pitted Sonny’s superb English/puzzle skillz against Rach’s math nerd skillz. The English nerd pulled out the victory, bringing the score to Rachel 2 – Sonny 3.
And then came the best part of the competition. The part the rest of the team was eagerly anticipating. We knew that Sonny and Rach were the two most likely on the team to put up a fuss at eating gross food. Both are known for their gag reflexes and aversion to strange dishes.
There were endless choices in the grocery store for this food challenge, but we chose what we considered a “mild” challenge. In fact, we got the challenge from Anthony’s house–from his cupboard of food he willingly eats. The challenge was half of a thousand year old egg, which is a fermented and (in my opinion) nasty egg delicacy. However, compared to a silkworm, or pig snout, or chicken foot this choice is quite easy to eat (or so we thought). Sonny went for the minuscule nibble method.
While Rach went for the “big” (we’re talking 1/4 of the egg half) bite method. She gagged and ran for the kitchen sink, but managed to get the first bite down.
But the second bite did her in. She made a run for the bathroom and the egg came back up. Yes, we made our teammate throw up at her birthday party. And laughed so hard there were tears. We have an evil side to us. At that point Sonny surrendered for no points in round six, leaving the score at Rachel 2 – Sonny 3.
Round seven brought the game back to a much tamer level as Rachel and Sonny entered a basketball shoot-out. Sonny began with making 3 of 10 shots. Rachel failed to even the score; only making 1 of 10 shots. Sonny clinched a two point lead.
Round eight was a test of pop culture knowledge, offering the perfect comeback opportunity for Rachel. She took full advantage of the opportunity, and glided to a decisive victory. This brought her to within one point of Sonny headed into the last round of regulation play.
The final round was a hymn sing off, where each player had 30 seconds to review a classic hymn before performing it for us. They were judged based on accuracy in remembering the lyrics. Rachel impressed with a near perfect performance of Victory in Jesus, while Sonny struggled through a rendition of the Old Rugged Cross.
Rach’s stellar performance brought the score to an unplanned tie. We had purposefully made an odd number of rounds, not thinking that they would forfeit the food challenge. Jennifer hopped onto “tiebreaker.com” and found a trivia question for the tie-breaker. Rachel was the closest guesser of the greatest depth of the Pacific ocean, clinching the title of “Fearless birthday girl”. Too bad we all know her kryptonite now–all you have to do is throw a thousand year old egg in front of her and she’ll be brought to her knees. (Oh, and that’s not real bacon she won–that would be too expensive a prize to give away–it’s a notebook that looks like and is packaged as bacon complete with price tag. You can find anything in China!)
Updated on August 4, 2011
Crunch time
It happens every year. The facts are as follows:
- The end of the semester always has more grading than any other time of the year.
- On our team, there are four birthdays between December 15th and January 3rd.
- Classes always end the week of Christmas.
- Christmas = multiple banquets, multiple performances, and numerous parties.
- It takes a long time to shop for foreigners in China on a budget.
- It’s hard buying gifts for people thousands of miles away.
- It is unbelievably COLD outside.
All of these facts add up to quite a hectic December. I don’t know what the cold weather has to do with hectic-ness; all I know is that it makes any time outside quite miserable. I was actually quite on top of things this month until I got knocked off my feet by a nasty head cold earlier this week. This illness halted all but the most urgent of tasks (which unfortunately did not include cooking, cleaning my kitchen, keeping up on emailing…etc.). I finally started to feel a bit better today, just in time for two Christmas performances (which I will fill you in on later). I’ve washed the mile high pile of dishes in my kitchen, and have made reasonable progress on the stack of papers I have to grade. I’m taking advantage of my current break from grading to update you on a few mundane details of my week, because I know you love mundane details.
On Monday afternoon, for four hours straight, I listened to 50 junior students give their final speech of the semester. Listening to this last speech is one of the best and worst days of the semester for me. I love seeing how much my students have improved since the beginning of the semester. It’s a teacher’s dream to see them stand up with confidence, and without a single filler word deliver a clearly organized speech. However, listening to 50 speeches in a row for four hours all the while having to concentrate enough to grade said speeches is not what I call a good time. In fact, it’s downright monotonous in a I-want-to-pull-my-hair-out type of way.
My survival strategy? A thermos full of coffee and my camera–because anything dull and boring becomes ten times more bearable with my camera in hand.
I came home from four hours of speech listening Monday afternoon, had a quick dinner, met with students for several hours, went to bed, woke up…and promptly went to administer sophomore oral exams for four hours. Once again, I had to stay chipper and interested through the monotony of 50 oral interviews…one after another after another after another. Only this time I didn’t have the pleasure of having my camera with me. I figured it would be a bit awkward for me to point a camera at a student in a one on one interview.
Tuesday afternoon I collected 26 five paragraph essays which I foolishly promised to grade and return by Thursday, so that my students would better be able to prepare for their final (which is also writing a five paragraph essay). Wednesday, I woke up feeling like I’d been run over by a truck. I went back and forth between grading a few essays, then passing out on the couch, then grading a few essays, then passing out on the couch…you get the point. Lucky for you, I did not photographically document the accumulating pile of tissues.
Thursday…Thursday is a blur. I took drugs. They made me sleepy. End of story. Friday, I caffeinated myself, ran some errands, and then went to our Christmas party with our brothers and sisters. After dinner, we had our annual white elephant gift exchange. I came away with a great scarf–the best gift I’ve ever managed to snag at this event. (Actually I wasn’t supposed to get this gift, but a secret off-hand technically illegal trade at the end of the game secured it…shhh, don’t tell anyone.)
The last mundane detail I’ll leave you with is a teaser. Saturday night was Sonny and Rachel’s joint birthday party. This is Rach, about to throw up at her birthday party. I’ll explain why sometime in the near future.
And lastly, in case you were worried about Karate Kid, he’s still doing quite well. He’s become bolder–whereas before he would never climb on his rock if I was in the room, he now poses quite willingly for pictures. This is his favorite afternoon pose: balanced on his belly (or more correctly, his shell), with his legs stretched out behind him. I think he has secret aspirations of flying like superman.
Updated on August 4, 2011
Off to big changes!
Be thinking of this little guy! He’s currently in the big city about two hours from us for corrective surgery on his mouth. Also be thinking of the orphanage nanny that’s there with him. In hospitals, families are responsible for a lot of the care (for example, meals). Consequently, the nanny will be with this little guy 24/7 taking care of him, not even leaving for a shower. You read my mind…the nannies at our orphanage are my heroes!
Updated on August 4, 2011
The Great Story
One of the sisters I study with each week asked if this week we could talk about heaven. I must confess, when she selected that topic I inwardly groaned a little bit. First of all, I knew I didn’t have a lesson on this in my arsenal of studies I’ve developed. Consequently, I knew it would take quite a bit of prep time, time being something that I seem to be a little short on lately. Secondly, I know the topic comes with a lot of “we don’t really know”s. However, I was so incredibly blessed this week as I prepared what we do know. Blessed and encouraged–so much so that I began to wonder why I don’t reflect on this topic more often. The more I meditated on the themes of the topic, the more the trivial and negligible annoyances of daily life became just that–trivial and negligible–making room for an abundance of joy. If you haven’t examined exactly what the word has to say about heaven lately, I highly suggest you take a look for yourself. While preparing, I also stumbled across one of my all-time favorite C.S. Lewis quotes. The quote comes from the very end of the Narnia saga, as the characters’ earthly lives come to a close and they begin a new life.
The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning. The things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this is the end of all the stories and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story, which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.
Updated on August 4, 2011
And it begins…
Tonight is our first team Christmas party of the season. We’re hosting a dinner party for the students who work in our Foreign Teacher’s Library. Of course, no Christmas party is complete without Christmas cookies, so I’ve been elbow deep in flour today making up a batch of our family’s sugar cookies. I realize there are hundreds, if not thousands, of excellent sugar cookie recipes out there. However, I’m entirely biased to the cookie I grew up on. Our family’s recipe is for a delightfully thin and crispy cookie with a hint of almond flavor. It just so happens to also be my favorite raw cookie dough to eat. I distinctly remember as a child trying to sneak bits of dough when my dad would be distracted putting pans in and out of the oven. Something tells me he knew exactly what I was doing. If you’re looking for a new sugar cookie recipe to try out, the recipe is up now. Enjoy!
Updated on August 4, 2011
Karate Kid
I’m sorry for the silence lately, but I’ve been pre-occupied with my new charge (either that or it’s the final three weeks of the semester and I’m buried in piles of grading, exam-making, and neglected post-graduate work). This week I acquired a new pet.
Growing up, aquatic creatures were banned in our household. We tried our hand at fish, but for some reason, they just couldn’t survive very long in our house. We were even prohibited from fish-sitting after we managed to kill off a few fish during friends’ week long vacations. There were also the tadpoles from the science lesson at school that became frogs…one of whom escaped from his cage and was discovered as a shriveled carcass behind the piano months later. The simple fact was that we were most definitely dog people, not pets from bodies of water people.
One of the sad parts of being in China for me is that fact that it’s not possible for me to have a dog. Much to my (and my teammate Jennifer’s) chagrin, dogs are not allowed in our building. I’ve considered getting fish or a turtle before (the approved pets for the building), but due to our family’s track record, have always decided against it. I just don’t have it in my heart to kill innocent aquatic creatures.
But this week the Clements had to find a new home for their turtle, Karate Kid, and I reluctantly agreed. Sure enough, the poor thing attempted suicide within three hours of being at my home. He must have sensed my inability to care for aquatic creatures. I had put him (as instructed) in a tupperware container with his food while I went to the bathroom to clean out his large bowl. I returned to my bedroom ten minutes later to discover the tupperware container empty. He somehow had climbed out of the container, across the window ledge, and then jumped off of the three foot high ledge. At the moment, he was making a mad dash (or as much of a dash as a turtle can make) for the door. When Karate Kid first came to the Clements, he had a brother. But the brother, after taking a similar nose dive off of a table, died within 24 hours. Consequently, I was convinced I had killed Karate Kid within three hours of getting him. However, two and a half days later he’s still alive and kicking, although each morning when I wake up I half expect to find him dead.
Way more exciting than my attempts at turtle care, though, is the reason why I have embarked on turtle care–the reason the Clements had to get rid of Karate Kid in the first place. You see, they had to baby proof the house and make room for this little sweetie.
I don’t know about you, but I find her way more darling than Karate Kid. The Clements were recently approved to foster a baby from the orphanage, and Mia joined the team this week. We’re already quite smitten with this one-month tiny little princess.
Sorry Karate Kid, you’re just going to have to get used to life in my house. Now that I know your suicidal tendencies, I’ll be watching you that much closer.
Updated on August 4, 2011
Thanksgiving Trees
This past week, the freshman and sophomore English majors were informed that each class would be required to hold a “Thanksgiving Party” on Wednesday afternoon. There’s nothing to put you in a festive mood like an order from on top to party! In our classes, we teach that Thanksgiving is a holiday celebrated with one’s family, and is rarely celebrated by parties. However, in China, holidays equal formal parties and formal parties equal performances, flambloyant hosts, and organized games. One of the party activities this year was the great holiday tradition of Thanksgiving trees. So you haven’t heard of this tradition? You’ve never seen it done in America? Well, who knows where they got the idea, but the students cut out colored paper into various shapes and wrote what they were thankful for on the papers. The papers were then festively hung from the trees outside our department’s building. The result were trees that look colorfully decorated for Christmas…too bad the messages are unlikely to linger until then. Regardless, it is good that the department did get one thing right about Thanksgiving…it’s all about what we’re thankful for.
One of the most common Chinese idioms/wishes: “Happy everyday”.
Thankful for love.
Thankful for “Grandparents have a good time during their lifetime. China.”
Don’t you love the assortment of shapes? Stars, apples, butterflies, Mickey Mouse, arrows…
And my personal favorite: feet.
Updated on August 4, 2011
Family
Truly I tell you, no one who has left home or wife or brothers or sisters or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come eternal life.
Thanksgiving is traditionally a holiday spent with family, and this Thanksgiving I’m overwhelmed by the promise contained in this verse and its manifestation in my own life. I left family and friends behind to move across the ocean, but have received many times as much. The bond of love I share with the team of teachers I work with frankly defies all explanation. We may annoy, frustrate, and drive each other nuts at times, but we have truly become family. Family that I know will stick by me through thick and thin, regardless of my shortcomings. It is a blessing to celebrate Thanksgiving with them today.
I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving celebrating with those you love!
Updated on August 4, 2011
Redeeming Moments
There are moments when I have a strong dislike of China. Moments where I find myself wishing I was in America. I had one such moment this afternoon at the train station. Of all places in China, except perhaps the post office, the train station is the one place where such moments are likely to happen. I had waited in a long line of pushing people for about twenty minutes, watching others cut in line in front of me, when I finally made my way to the ticket counter. Confidently I said the line I’d been rehearsing in Chinese the past twenty minutes, “One ticket to Changchun on Friday, around 2 pm.” “Come back tomorrow to buy it.” Maybe I hadn’t spoken clear enough. “A ticket for Friday, the day after tomorrow.” “Buy it tomorrow.” The next person in line pushed me out of the way, and I walked away in a confused and frustrated daze. Most of the time, you can buy tickets 7-10 days ahead of time. At the very least, you can buy them 3 days before departure. I had, and still have, no clue why I couldn’t buy the ticket. I left the train station grumbling under my breath; not only had I traveled all the way downtown in the snow, and then waited twenty minutes, but now in the midst of pie baking and roll dough making and roll dough rising and roll dough forming tomorrow I would have to go downtown again. Let’s just say I wasn’t loving China in that moment.
By the Father’s grace, these moments of intense dislike of China don’t tend to linger very long. In fact, on many occasions they are often followed by a redeeming moment that proves my love of this place once again. Fortunately, today that was the case. I ran a couple more errands while I was downtown (I wasn’t about to make the entire trip a waste…I still operate from a monochronic mindset) and then headed back home. I stopped in a teammate’s house to drop off an item I picked up for her and ran into my best Chinese friend. She knew I had gone out to get a ticket and asked if I was able to get a seat ticket (as opposed to a standing only ticket). I told her my story, which confused her just as much as me. “So what will you do?” she asked me. “I’ll have to go back tomorrow.” “But tomorrow is Thanksgiving!” “Yeah…but…” “You’re cooking a lot!” “I’ll find the time.” “No, I need to go out there tomorrow anyway, I’ll get your ticket.” Gratitude and love filled my heart. I’m not sure if she was really planning on going downtown, but her willingness to get the ticket was such a welcome reminder of why I love the people here. As if that wasn’t enough, I then headed out to my egg lady. As she was bagging eggs for me, I made small talk about the American holiday we were celebrating tomorrow, and telling her about all the cooking I was doing. I told her I wasn’t just buying eggs for me, but that one pound was for another teacher. I asked her for the total price, and she responded with a grin, “Your pound is for free! Happy Thanksgiving!”
Have I mentioned lately how much I love China?
Updated on August 4, 2011
How can you wear yourself in winter
Confused by the title? Worried that five years in China has severely impaired my English? All will be clear soon enough. This evening, all of the foreign teachers received a guide for how to dress during the winter. The guide was put together by a concerned and loving student who wanted to protect our health, and was entitled, “Do you know how can you wear yourself in winter?” I’ve included each section of the guide below, highlighting a few of my favorite quotes beneath each section. I hope it brings as many smiles and chuckles to you as it did to me!
Very important to note that this guide is just “advices” not an ad…she’s not making a profit off of this information. (Although she should market it to foreigners who are naive in the ways of dressing for cold weather.)
Step #1: I believe this is your traditional long underwear. My favorite line, “the fabric of this clothing is quite like socks”.
Step #2: A turtleneck sweater and yet another pair of pants undergarments. See next picture for a description of these pants.
Two favorite lines from this one…”wear a pair of flabby pants so you can put on the pants outside this leggings” and “go with a Chinese who is a brilliant bargainor”.
Step #3: Adding the boxes on top of the leggings in the previous step…which appear to be glorified knee pads…that you wear on top of long underwear, on top of leggings, and below your pants. Your knees apparently need four layers of protection.
Step #4: Favorite line, “it’s light and it’s paradise in cold winds”. Let me tell you what’s paradise in cold winds…flying south to Thailand during the coldest month of the year.
Step #5: The all important shoe…I’m guessing my fashionable high-heeled suade boots don’t make the cut. Favorite line, “a wind-staunch leather shoe”.
Step #6: The usual equipment. There is not a lot of details about this equipment; likely because she realizes we already own these items. However, she must be aware that the foreign teachers have no clue they need to wear knee pads in the winter, and hence informed us of the exact location where we could find them.
buy cialis without prescriptionstyle=”text-align: left;”>Mom, don’t worry about me…my students and the old ladies in my neighborhood (who literally pull up my pants to check for long underwear) are looking out for me!
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