Updated on February 25, 2017
Four years of I do
Four years ago, I was gathered around a table in my father’s backyard, retelling stories and laughing ’til I cried with my soon to be husband and my China family. The family that had literally just finished the semester of teaching, hopped on a plane from Beijing to Seattle, and then immediately driven over mountain passes…arriving just in time to catch the tail end of the rehearsal dinner.
My worlds were colliding in a beautiful way, and it was and is one of the happiest of my days. This family by experience not blood that had walked beside me in sickness and in health – some for nearly all of those six years in that foreign land – sharing memories with the one to walk with me forevermore in sickness and in health. The rest of the tables and guests cleared, but we remained as dusk fell. Read More
Posted on June 10, 2016
Dear Arabella (June 10, 2016)
Dear Arabella,
My sweet, sweet girl. Yesterday we celebrated TEN months of breathing, miraculous life. So many seconds, minutes, hours, and days beyond what we expected to have. Your mama still gets choked up when she thinks about the privilege and the grace of living daily life with you. You, my dear, bring so much joy to our days. You have the most infectious joy about you that is constantly drawing others in. It’s impossible not to laugh when you laugh. You’ve developed quite the repertoire of facial expressions, and seem to know just the one to pull out of your hat to entertain your adoring onlookers. You have your own version of “hi” and “bye” that is accompanied by a rather endearing wave. Read More
Updated on May 17, 2016
Breathe In, Breathe Out
It was for the most part a typical Tuesday. He showed up just as I was cleaning up breakfast, about to put Bella down for her morning nap.
One of our good friends recently moved into our bonus room. A room at this point that is unused by us, and so an opportunity for her to save for a house purchase, and us to tuck away a bit…perhaps for adoption? We were unable to get the cable box hooked up in the room, so the cable company was sending someone by. Straightforward fix, right?
I showed him the location of things, made a bottle, and settled into the rocker in Bella’s room. He poked his head in to say that he would need to drill a hole through the wall to get the wiring to the box. “Sounds good.”
And then a few minutes later it sounded like a shower had turned on, and he poked his head back in…”umm, I hit a pipe with the drill…” Read More
Updated on May 10, 2016
Flying into nine months
Our little peanut turned nine months old yesterday. Which means, despite the fact that we are leaving in approximately 9 hours and bags remain mostly unpacked, I had to whisk her outside today for just a few pictures.
Her sister got monthly photos in her first year, and by golly I plan to keep up the tradition. Read More
Posted on April 26, 2016
Lessons from the driver’s seat
I love how throughout scripture, the Lord uses story and analogy to help us better understand Him and His character. Of course all analogies break and fall short at some point – being that they are but dim reflections of the true Light – but they do help us to better grasp the heart of our Father. In the day to day of mothering little ones, I try to keep my eyes primed to notice and take hold of these whispering echoes of my Father’s love.
And so it was that the drive to the dentist’s office on Monday led me down a path of reflection.
As we drove, I reflected on the fact that Bella was entirely clueless of where we were going and the pain that waited on the immediate horizon. Read More
Posted on April 23, 2016
Straight from a mama’s heart
It was the first time I ever noticed the, “what’s wrong with her?” look.
We had been expecting it. That first day the diagnosis was postulated, sitting in the pediatrician’s office with the geneticist’s report in our lap, we googled. Some of the first images that popped up on that inevitable google search were that of mouths. Mouths with lips pulled back to reveal terribly abnormal sets of teeth.
It’s the part of her syndrome that tormented her daddy, her protective papa bear daddy, in the first few weeks. The short stature, the scar of a heart repaired, even the extra fingers…those somehow seemed less significant to bear than a mouth with unexpected and malformed and missing teeth – would this make our girl lose her smile? Read More
Updated on April 7, 2016
Eight Months Early
Today, Bella flat out refused her afternoon nap. It was really my fault – she had stolen an odd catnap here and there earlier in the day as we went on a shopping adventure. But the punishment for nap rebellion in this household is being dressed up and drug taken outside for a photo shoot. The weather was splendidly warm, I had found a dress earlier in the day I was dying to put her in, and we’re almost at eight months of Arabella Grace – close enough to make this photo shoot count.
This is the first time I’ve really shot pictures outside at our new place, so at first it was a bit of an exploration to find the best light. Read More
Updated on March 31, 2016
The ache
By all evidences it was a marvelous day.
It started with an early morning oil change – sans children, which meant 30 minutes of silence, steaming cup of coffee in hand.
And then a patio set up for the first time. More coffee with sunshine, a dear neighbor and friend, and the waterfall fountain murmured in the background while a girl in dress, pig tails, and large bows danced and sung in the grass. A baby woke happily from long nap to more time outside. Lunch eaten at the patio table, no cajoling bites, but just a bite here and there in between frolicking and exploring. A baby and toddler napped at the same time, allowing for time to work, both at the job and a design project for a ministry dearly loved. The first dinner of the season enjoyed on the patio, with basil all blended with its exploding aroma, poured over hot off the grill chicken.
And yet, despite all of its Edenic qualities, a heaviness hung about the day like a dark cloak. Read More
Updated on March 17, 2016
The true start of the journey
I went in to get Bella this morning, having just finished my daily stroll down memory lane on Timehop. She was grinning up a storm, flapping her arms excitedly…and instantly my eyes welled up with tears.
I began sharing our journey with Arabella last year during Easter Week. That was the week of the official diagnosis. The Maundy Thursday where we were told our baby girl was incompatible with life.
But the true beginning was a year ago this week. Yesterday, to be exact. Yesterday was the gorgeous spring day that Jeff and I cheerfully headed to the OB’s office for our anatomy scan. With Eliana, we had found out her gender on Valentine’s Day. This time around we decided to up the ante and fun a little bit. We were headed off on a babymoon to the Oregon coast the following morning, so we planned on having the gender written on a card that we would open when we arrived at our destination. Read More
Updated on February 25, 2017
Savor
In this life of work from home mama to littles there is a lot of scurrying and hurrying. There never seem to be quite enough hours in the day to actually do and fold and put away the laundry. Dust and cobwebs collect, and the to do list never quite gets completed.
All of us mamas have heard it. We’ve had the old grandma wistfully pass on wisdom in the condiment aisle…savor this, it goes too fast. I’m going to be absolutely frank with you. I do not savor every moment. The third poop blowout of the day? The seventh waking in the middle of the night? The fit at the request to simply take off your shoes? Yes, there is grace in those moments too, but I cannot say I savor them. Read More
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