Working on the jiggly parts

One of my oldest and dearest friends is getting married in May. She pre-dates kids, pre-dates Jeff, pre-dates China. Which means she’s walked through all of those adventures with me. And when Bella happened she bought a plane ticket to Seattle for August, not knowing whether she’d be keeping vigil with me in the NICU or standing with me at the graveside. Turns out she cut out tons of different tiny fabric shapes for nursery decorations instead.

But back to the wedding. In May, I have the great privilege of standing beside Heather as she says her vows. A privilege which comes clothed in a formal dress. A formal dress which requires measurements.

I got the email about a week ago that we needed to get our measurements in ASAP to the bridal shop. And so with fear and trepidation, I got out the tape measure. I had no desire to put numbers to this five months postpartum body – which was just coming off of the holiday season where there was perhaps a bit too much indulgence in celebration of the return of dairy and eggs and soy to my diet.

Needless to say, said numbers and calculated dress size were the kick in the pants I needed to get back into regular exercise. I’d hopped on the treadmill here and there since Bella’s birth, but with little to no consistency. It was apparent that a little more consistency was in order.

Fortunately, I now have a baby who naps beautifully for about two hours in the morning, and a toddler who can sit and “read” books to herself ’til kingdom come. And so in the last week the treadmill, and crunches, and squats, and other such shaping exercises have re-entered my life. Funny thing, though – I can’t do quite as much as I used to be able to do pre-pregnancy. And it turns out I’m about the most impatient worker outer out there. Today as I was grunting my way through push ups (the lady version…don’t be impressed…in fact, be very unimpressed), I was getting quite frustrated that after a week of more-but-not-always consistent workouts I hadn’t yet doubled the amount of push ups I can do.

I hope you’re laughing with me by now, because I’m laughing as well. But the whole scenario – my decline in fitness and realization of the work it’s going to take to regain it – started churning some verses through my head.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:1-3)

We are to be training ourselves in godliness. Stirring up the work of the Spirit in our minds and in our hearts. Striving in our pursuit of Christ. Not so that we might earn His acceptance, or somehow pay for the great grace He’s lavished on us, but simply because He is beautiful and we so greatly desire to be made beautiful like Him.

How do we do that? How do we progressively work our spirits, our thoughts, our emotions to be clothed in the beauty of Christ?

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)

I know Paul was writing to both men and women in Rome, but oh my goodness is that not a most necessary admonition for women? If we want to break from the pattern of this world, we must change our thinking. And this, my friends, just like working out, is not a one and done task. It is a never-ending necessity…and if we slack off, take a sabbatical, go on a hiatus – we lose ground far faster than we’re ever able to gain it.

And so, as I work to tighten up my jiggly parts a bit, I’m also choosing to focus on the thoughts that fly persistently through my mind each day. Trying to stop and pass them through the filter…

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. (Philippians 4:8)

I also know that I need to examine what I’m putting into my mind each day. What am I feasting on? As Paul says, everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. And just like choosing to eat that extra cookie means extra work on the treadmill, choosing to consume certain things with my eyes and my ears may mean a more diligent workout is needed to corral my thought life.

The good news is, though, the closing on our new house has been postponed again. Which means I have an extra week of easy access to a treadmill at my dad’s house! See my friends, there is grace in all.

{Final note – still no news from our cardiologist on the cardio team’s decision as to a surgery date. I promise to update when we hear!}