How can you wear yourself in winter

Confused by the title?  Worried that five years in China has severely impaired my English?  All will be clear soon enough.  This evening, all of the foreign teachers received a guide for how to dress during the winter.  The guide was put together by a concerned and loving student who wanted to protect our health, and was entitled, “Do you know how can you wear yourself in winter?”  I’ve included each section of the guide below, highlighting a few of my favorite quotes beneath each section.  I hope it brings as many smiles and chuckles to you as it did to me!

Very important to note that this guide is just “advices” not an ad…she’s not making a profit off of this information. (Although she should market it to foreigners who are naive in the ways of dressing for cold weather.)

Step #1: I believe this is your traditional long underwear.  My favorite line, “the fabric of this clothing is quite like socks”.

Step #2: A turtleneck sweater and yet another pair of pants undergarments.  See next picture for a description of these pants.

Two favorite lines from this one…”wear a pair of flabby pants so you can put on the pants outside this leggings” and “go with a Chinese who is a brilliant bargainor”.

Step #3: Adding the boxes on top of the leggings in the previous step…which appear to be glorified knee pads…that you wear on top of long underwear, on top of leggings, and below your pants.  Your knees apparently need four layers of protection.

Step #4: Favorite line, “it’s light and it’s paradise in cold winds”.  Let me tell you what’s paradise in cold winds…flying south to Thailand during the coldest month of the year.

Step #5: The all important shoe…I’m guessing my fashionable high-heeled suade boots don’t make the cut.  Favorite line, “a wind-staunch leather shoe”.

Step #6: The usual equipment.  There is not a lot of details about this equipment; likely because she realizes we already own these items.  However, she must be aware that the foreign teachers have no clue they need to wear knee pads in the winter, and hence informed us of the exact location where we could find them.

buy cialis without prescriptionstyle=”text-align: left;”>Mom, don’t worry about me…my students and the old ladies in my neighborhood (who literally pull up my pants to check for long underwear) are looking out for me!