And her name shall be

No, Toppy is not our new little lady’s given name. Confused? Go back here and read how she developed this nickname.

If you’ve been around here for any length of time, you know that naming is a big deal in our household. Throughout scripture names are of utmost significance. Names tell a story, and sometimes even need to be changed to indicate a change in the story line. Names both speak to the individual who possesses that name, as well as the God that leads them.

My love of meaningful names only deepened during my years spent in China. Here as well a name is seen as significant and is chosen with great care. And so when we have sat down to name our daughters (you can read the story behind Eliana’s name and Arabella’s name further back in the blog) there has been a specific list of requirements.

1. The meaning of the name must reflect the story surrounding the child.
2. It can not be a “common name.” Since our children stand under the last name of Johnson, one of your most common family names out there, we want their first names to be unique. Not terribly strange, but unique.
3. We have to like the sound of it…it needs to roll off our tongues in just the right way.

Since we like the child’s name to reflect her story, we had not even begun to discuss possible names before Tuesday’s appointment. We knew we needed more information, we needed to know more about this child before we could even begin a list of possibilities.

After Tuesday, though, my heart became eager to find her name. To be able to pray over her by name and tell others about her by name. Toppy is incredibly cute, and will continue to be used frequently throughout this pregnancy, but I wanted her name with its full weight of significance. And so the hunt was on. I was the one who stumbled on our other two daughters’ names, but this time as I began the search, I just had the sense that this one was to be named by her daddy. And so I deposited the task into Jeff’s hands and let it rest.

It was not long before he landed on it. He started his search with what has dominated this entire pregnancy…peace. I know I mentioned it before, but there has been the unmistakable, tangible, steadying presence of peace. I won’t lie to you, in those initial minutes and hours after the ultrasound that revealed another long journey with many hurdles to be overcome, we were rocked by all sorts of emotions. They came crashing against us like waves. Fear, grief, wondering, dread, exhaustion…have I mentioned fear?…rolled over us. We clung to each other, and we clung to truth. Because this time we knew, waves come, the boat rocks, but it does not sink. And in due time, due to the ballast carefully stored, the boat steadies. And this time, it didn’t take very long. Peace was quick to return.

We know as we head into more appointments, into more detailed ultrasounds and fetal echos and conferences with doctors, the waves will come again. And there might very well be times where we are tossed about for a much longer time. But we know and trust that peace will always be waiting. That in due time, the ship will right itself.

And so Jeff wanted this child’s name to proclaim this peace. And so he found it.

Shiloh.

The name had actually come up when we were searching for Arabella’s name, but at the time, just wasn’t right. But with this child, as we talked about the name, and as I reflected on it, we fell in love.

In addition to being used to point to the coming Messiah, the Prince of Peace, Shiloh was the longtime location for the tabernacle. It was the place where the presence of Lord rested, and as such was a place of peace. Shiloh is also the place from which the Israelites took the ark from the tabernacle to head into battle. They were about to fight a big battle against the Philistines. Things were not going well, and so they sent for the ark. Surely the presence of the ark would save them, right? Wouldn’t the Lord have to defend His honor, defend His presence by bringing them salvation? The Israelites were about to learn a big lesson. They were about to learn that the Lord was not a magic genie that could be manipulated. Nor was the Lord dependent on them to show His glory.

And so, the ark is captured by the Philistines. However, lest the Philistines be tempted to scoff at the God they had defeated, the Lord decides to give them a lesson in His glory. His ark gets placed in their temple and it all goes downhill from there. Their god falls down and breaks at the feet of the ark. Sickness descends on the people. In no time at all they’re rushing to send the ark back to the Israelites.

So what on earth does all of this have to do with this little girl squirming inside me? First of all, it reminds us that peace comes alone from the presence of the Lord. That is the sole source. Secondly, we are assured that the Lord will be glorified in this little girl’s life. However, we also know that the Lord will bring glory to His name how He chooses. We are told to come and lay our requests at His feet, to ask to the best of our ability and within our limited understanding for good and right gifts. And so we plead for breath and life and a strong beating heart for this child. Because we know healing is the Lord’s desire as well. We know that in the coming kingdom sickness and brokenness will be banished, and we know that it is good to desire the kingdom to manifest itself even now. But we do not know that He will choose to heal, to give breath, to this little girl in this shadowland of life. What we do know, what we cry out for, is the peace that comes with the presence of the Lord. We cry out for the peace that could carry us even through the deep shadows of grief.

And so peace is this child’s main story line.

Her middle name, though, reflects our hope.

Ruth.

Ruth is first of all significant in that it is my grandmother’s name. It’s a name I’ve longed to use for many years. And this time, the meaning was perfect. Ruth means companion or friend. Ruth, who traveled with Naomi, who walked with Naomi to a place where their acceptance was in no way guaranteed.

And here is our hope. Our hope is for a companion, a friend, for Arabella. A companion who understands and shares what we, though we love her dearly, will never be able to personally understand and share. I cannot tell you the excitement Jeff and I have shared this week as we think of the gift that this could be for these girls.

And so we hope. Hope is a scary thing. And hope would be foolish, if there was not the Peace, the Prince of Peace, to undergird it.

Shiloh Ruth. I don’t know that we would have arrived here, arrived at this peace, if it weren’t for the Beautiful Altar that came before. It was in learning the hard surrender that we found our peace. And so we surrender again, ever pleading, ever hoping, and ever trusting.