The Long Underwear Debate

In the Northeast of China, we have now entered the season of mid-Fall, more commonly known as “colder inside than outside” or “to wear or not to wear long johns” or “when is the heat going to be turned on?” season. You see, in China, the entire country (north of the Yellow River) turns on the heat on the same day. This day of stocking the furnaces with coal is not, as you may think, determined by weather conditions. Rather, the deciding factor is some arbitrarily pre-determined date on the calendar. Let me take that back, I’m sure it’s not entirely arbitrary. However, if it is snowing and 20 degrees outside two weeks before the heating date, that heat still ain’t coming on. If it is 80 degrees outside on the day the heat is supposed to come on, that heat is still coming on. Granted, the date chosen is always so late in the season that there is nary a chance of an 80 degree day, but theoretically that fact stands.

The situation described above leads to a daily conundrum of how best to clothe oneself for both outdoor and indoor conditions. The first question to be answered is “To wear or not to wear long underwear.” My first couple years in China, I refused to don my long johns until November at the very earliest. I’m a midwest girl and I reasoned I should be able to tough it out. It’s my sixth year in China, and all such resolutions have flown out the window. While I do not adhere to the Chinese rule of putting on the long underwear October 1st regardless of weather conditions, I also do not adhere to my equally arbitrary “not before November” rule.

Back to our questions. If I decide to pull on the long underwear (which is most days of late), the second decision is determining which variety of long underwear is most suitable. Six years in China means I have every thickness/material combination of long johns available. Thick or thin? Fleece lined or straight up cotton? American or Chinese? There are several factors that contribute to this daily decision:

The Sun. If the sun is shining, I’m much more likely to put on a thinner pair. This is not the most logical factor, as some of the coldest days around here are the sunniest.

Stationary to In Motion Time Ratio. Perhaps the most important factor. If I’m going to be moving around lecturing most of the day, I definitely opt for thin. If I’m going to be sitting evaluating speeches most of the day, I definitely opt for thick. Dinner out with students after class? Might want thicker for sitting in a cold restaurant.

Previous day’s selection. If I chose thick the day before and was too hot, regardless of weather conditions I’m likely to put on thin. If I chose thin the day before and was frigid, regardless of weather conditions I’m likely to put on thick. Once again, not the most logical factor, although rather persuasive.

Pants selection. This one is quite straight-forward–the thicker/warmer the material of the pants chosen for the day, the thinner the long johns will be.

View from the window. I watch the people walk by outside my window. Scarves, tightly hunched shoulders, and speedy walking indicate cold weather and the need for a thicker pair of long johns.

The fact that I just wrote a rather lengthy and wordy post about long underwear? And only now thought, this might be weird to Americans who very rarely put on long underwear unless they’re hitting the ski slopes? Proof that perhaps I’ve lived in China too long.