Classroom humor

Today was the first day of my reading and writing course for graduate students.  The first chunk of any class is always devoted to get to know you type activities.  If students are freshmen, this includes assigning English names to those students who don’t have one (a very rare occurence these days, most come with English names) and assigning English names to those who mistakenly assume they have an English name when in fact all they have is an English word.  For example, the General, Iowa (her high school teacher gave each student one of the States as a name), Clean & Clear, and Snowflake.  With my graduate students, though, I didn’t do any name assigning or name correction.  At this point in their education, it just seems a bit late.  Quite a few of them (notably the ones who graduated from our university and had us as foreign teachers) have very common and acceptable names.  There are a few interesting choices though:

• Romeo
• Linnea
• See
• Twain
• Zinsser

If anyone is aware of the pronunciation for the last name, please let me know.  Also on the first day, I have my students fill out a student information form.  Included on this form is the question, what is one thing you would like me to know about you?  Some interesting facts I found out about my students:

• Many people consider me as an inside girl, but actually I am an outside girl.
• I worked in Beijing as a translator for Mr. Bryan Stadelmann.  (Bryan, if you’re out there, I’m now teaching your translator.)
• Please remember that actually I’m an active one.
• I want to speak my oral English more like the British do. (Sorry Romeo, can’t help you with that one.)
• I want to tell you that I have somebody to love and somebody loves me, so I am happy. (Ahhhh…)
• I am a girl.

I also have space for each student to ask one thing they’d like to know about me.  Inquiring minds want to know:

• Your eyes are so beautiful.  I want to know why they are green, because as I know, your eyes should be blue. (Hmmm, perhaps we need a lesson on genetics?)
• I want to know your eating habit.
• What color do you like best? (this is one of the most common questions I get asked)
• I want to know what you would share with me, knowledge? happiness?
• Will you give us less assignment or homework? (Ah, cutting right to the chase.)
• Do you want to marry a Chinese man?  (Thank goodness a girl asked me this.)
• Will we have some more quizzes this semester? (My reputation precedes me.)
• You are very beautiful.  So I want to know what you use for your face?  (A good night of sleep.)
• I want to know something in respect of your hometown and the history enveloping your hometown.

If I haven’t gotten a chuckle out of you yet, read the following explanation of the next month’s class schedule.  Holiday scheduling and make-ups in China–always good for a laugh, or pulling your hair out.

Holidays and reschedule of the classes: Mid-Autumn Festival: September 22 – 24. Please make up the classes for September 23 on September 19, and make up the classes for September 24 on September 25; Sports Meeting: September 29 – 30?National Day: October 1 to 7. Please make up the classes for October 6 on September 26, and make up the classes for October 7 on October 9.