Sick food

I’ve long suspected that my Chinese textbook was not created by native English speakers (and in particular, by Americans).  In our last lesson, my suspicions were confirmed.  The lesson subject was visiting someone in a hospital.  Throughout the book, the same people appear repeatedly in the dialogues.  The dialogue in this lesson was between two foreign exchange students: Mary (a Canadian and the patient in the hospital) and David (an American).  The following is the excerpt that, in my mind, unequivocally confirmed the book was written by a Chinese author:

David: “What do you want to eat for lunch today?  Fried vegetables and rice, noodles, or dumplings?”

Mary: “Mc*Donald’s!  I want to eat Mc*Donald’s today!”

David: “Right now your health isn’t good, so let’s eat dumplings.”

Clue #1: this conversation boldly displays the assumption that all North Americans love Mc*Donald’s.  My students often assume that all Americans eat at the popular fast food joint multiple times every week.  I rarely, or more correctly, never, eat at the golden arches in the States.  However, I have consumed my fair share of McD’s here in China.  And by fair share I mean a hamburger every now and then when we travel to a big city that actually has McD’s.  The fact that it tastes “like America” overrides the health factor.

Possible rebuttal: When Americans are sick in China, we crave American food.  The last thing I want to eat when I’m sick is Chinese food.  The very thought of Chinese food is often repulsive to me.  The writer of this conversation, within Mary’s request, seems to suggest an awareness of this trend.  Perhaps an American did write this conversation.

Undisputed clue #2: This rebuttal is immediately smashed to pieces by David’s (who, let me remind you, is an American) response.  The heartless guy rejects the poor sick girl in a foreign country’s request and instead declares that they will eat dumplings together.  Don’t get me wrong, dumplings are great.  And I understand they are culturally significant.  And likely more healthy than a happy meal.  But this doesn’t change the fact that very few sick Americans would actually want to consume a plate of dumplings. No North American in their right mind would force their sick North American friend to eat dumplings, regardless of their health.

Poor sick Mary.  I sure hope one of her classmates brought her that happy meal.